Another delay, but will use this time to accomplish my to-do lists.

Due to office changes or some such baloney, they're holding off approvals until the NEXT committee meeting.  If you read a previous blog, you'll see we already have been put in front of the committee last month, but I guess since clearances and classes continued into this month, we have to be reviewed AGAIN.  This is so stressful.  So I have to busy myself for 2 more weeks with stress and worry that for some reason they won't like us or something in our past, our home, our jobs, our schedule, our relationship, our dog, our religion, our lifestyle, ANYTHING could just make them deny us.

Inside it's very painful for me and I'm so super emotional right now.  I want to yell from the rooftops to friends and family that we're going to have a family, but I'm afraid of telling anyone that doesn't already know.  Part of it is superstition....silly, I know, but what if we are denied, then we have to be embarrassed by telling all those people-nevermind, we're not good enough and we weren't approved.

So, I need to keep myself busy for the next two weeks (well, one and a half weeks now.  We were told this a few days ago, but I was too sad to blog about it, but I decided to blog anyway because I wanted accurate and honest records of this process.)  So here are my lists of to-do's to help keep me busy, get things accomplished and keep me from losing my sanity.

PRIORITY 1 List

-Back porch (mostly all for hubby to deal with, not much I can do.)  *DONE
-Clean out spare bedroom closet  *DONE
-Deep clean spare bedroom  *DONE
-Remove ceiling fan and replace with ceiling light (in case we have bunkbeds) *DONE
-Bunkbed planning (we're considering building our own so we can customize it)
        This includes discussing details of what we want,
        measure, price wood, price mattresses and price
        actual bunkbeds in case it'll be cheaper/easier to
        just buy one.
-Organize binder with forms we'll need, there are several websites that give good tips for this, I listed them in my blog here.  *DONE

PRIORITY 2 List

-Fix kitchen chair (the legs are loose, they need to be re-glued.  *DONE
-Get rid of broken garbage disposal and replace pipe *DONE
-Replace kitchen ceiling light (was a ceiling fan with light, but the fan doesn't work right) *purchased light, didn't replace yet.
-Clean and clean out both vehicles
-Tear down old shed (we have a new shed out back, but there's an old one that basically needs to be just torn down, nothing important is inside and the roof is falling apart on it.  My "plan" is to tear it down and have a nice patio sitting area in that space.  According to dh, he said it's a "weekend  job", he'll get a few friends and they can do it quickly.  The jury's out on whether I believe it's that quick of a job, but this job will wait until everything on priority 1 list is done at least.
-Make freezer meals to have quick meals on hand *Ongoing
-Defrost chest freezer.  I'm not sure how/when we can do this.  The freezer's pretty full and I don't know where we'd go with the stuff in it.  This might get demoted to a lower priority list just because it'll be a while until it's empty enough to do.

PRIORITY 3 List

-Scrapbook (I'm over a year behind!  ugh!)
-Organize the upstairs offices *Ongoing  I have accepted we'll NEVER have the upstairs offices clean/organized enough for me...lol  My office, maybe, but my husband's will never meet my expectations.

So I have lots to keep me busy I guess, but it doesn't seem to be taking away any worry........

Room layout

We're close enough to the end of the process that I feel comfortable doing a little bit of "prep" work, like actually getting the bedroom ready.  That means removing all of our crap...my scrapbooking stuff, treadmill, books, vacuum cleaner, etc.  Now to find a new home for all of that stuff...hmmm....

So, I'm looking around the room trying to figure out how to place the furniture that will give the kid room to play, while keeping at least one window accessible (per state requirement.)  It's a small room with 2 windows and the 2 pieces of furniture we have are a large dresser and a cabinet of sorts with a door and  mirror.  They are both extremely heavy!  So I don't want to move them around more than necessary!  lol  I found this gem of a website! (Click Here) You enter in measurements and you can move things around to get an idea of what fits where and how it'll look.  I love it!  Here are a few options we came up with.   I think we're leaning towards the last picture.  We can always change it around if the kid wants something different too, but we need some game plan to start.

Hopefully we'll be hearing from our agency today or tomorrow with the A-OK!  I'm trying to keep myself busy and not to stress.....I'm trying.....  

Foster Care Home Study Day!

You'd think I'd be nervous, right?  I wasn't, not really.  I actually thought it would be last week but I was mistaken, so I was prepared and nervous last week.  I worked 40 hours over the weekend, so when the appointment was for 9:30 am this morning (Monday) I was too exhausted to be nervous..lol

It was pretty simple and she had already given us a list of what she'd check (water temp 125 or below, outlet covers, medications and cleaners locked up, corded phone accessible with emergency contact list, fire extinguishers, smoke detectors, emergency evacuation plan posted) so I felt confident (kinda) that we'd be ok.  And we were...almost...

The back porch is my husband's "workshop".  Actually it's just a mess of tools and "guy stuff" and I avoid going back there.  lol  However, I didn't realize she'd need to go back there (we did a walk through before and she didn't ask to see the back yard) so I was surprised and nervous when she asked to see it today.  Uh oh.....

Now, we have a pretty big yard, I mean not huge, but plenty of space for running and playing, sandbox, swingset, etc.  I figured with the ages we're looking at (0-10) they wouldn't be outside by themselves anyway, so I wasn't overly worried about his tools and randomness too much because they wouldn't be alone outside and there was plenty of space for them to play.  Don't get me wrong, getting it more organized and safe is definitely on the to-do list, but since it wasn't on the home study list and we didn't go over that in the initial walk through, I didn't make it a top priority for right now.

Well, she said it *shouldn't* stop the process, but getting the back porch "child friendly" needs to be a big priority right now.  That's fine and we'll get that situated this week (weather and husband pending...grrrr...) but it just makes me nervous and tense now.  I feel like I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop and something to complicate our getting approved and now I'm worried.  Worry worry worry...it's all I do.

Ok, so hoping that she's right and it won't stop the process, the next step is for her manager to sign off on our file, which she said the manager will be in the office Wednesday or Thursday, at that point, if all goes well, we can make an appointment to sign contracts and be official and waiting for placement.  Oh I can't can't can't wait!  I'm on pins and needles now waiting for Wednesday or Thursday.  I made sure to tell her that I'll be staring at the phone over that time so she needs to update me asap!  lol  By now, she gets that about me I think, so she said she'd let me know as soon as she could.

Not actually our house, but you get the idea...lol  Really, who needs this many tools?!  Apparently my hubby.

What is Love?

And how many of you, after reading the title, are thinking in your head "Baby, don't hurt me"?  LOL  Sorry, didn't mean to get that song stuck in your head.  I tried coming up with a different title, but that one was just the right one.

The idea for this blog came to me when I was watching a reality tv show.  "Couples Therapy" I think it was.  First time watching it and, honestly, I don't think I recognized any of the "reality stars" on it.  Anyway, one couple in particular was having issues because the man didn't say "I love you" yet, he blamed it on a cultural difference or whatever.  I don't know them, don't know their situation and don't really care, but it made me think.  While those words "I love you" are so very powerful, they are really only words.  My husband (and our families) are very vocal about saying "I love you" and are all pretty affectionate, but I started thinking about what "I love you" means.  If you didn't say those words, how could you show it?  So, I came up with a list.  Feel free to comment any other good ways to say "I love you" as well.

I LOVE YOU means:

Deleting your favorite show on the dvr before you got a chance to watch it because the dvr is full and you know the other person's favorite show is coming up to record soon.

Letting the other person have the last slice of pizza.

Getting up at 3am to let the dog out so the other person doesn't have to.

Doing a "chore" on the other person's chore list.

Saying thank you to that person for doing your chore and not telling them that they did it wrong and you'll have to redo it anyway.  lol

Going out of your way even when you're tired, to get something from a store the other person asks you to get.

Taking care of the other person when they're sick and potentially having to do very gross things to help them.

A foot rub or shoulder rub out of no where (and that isn't meant to lead to things...lol)

Filling up the other person's gas tank.

Making the other person's favorite dinner even when you don't like it.

Respecting and acknowledging the other person's opinions and feelings even if you don't agree with them.

Swallowing your pride when you're wrong and apologizing.

Not holding grudges or constantly bringing up past mistakes.

I'm sure there are a million more ways!  Please comment with any you experience or can think of! <3