When a punishment goes too far

There was a lot of very bad behavior this weekend by foster son at a family event.  In the course of one of the "episodes" there was a warning that he would lose a day of summer camp if it continued, it did.  I progressed to a week, then the whole summer.  At that point of the episode, he was too far gone to even be aware of consequences and I totally should have recognized that, but I didn't.  So I made the error of taking away all of summer camp.  Not an appropriate consequence, despite his episode.

So, now what do I do?  I don't want to give it back when it is a consequence, so I have to find a way of him getting it back but still following through on the punishment.  This is what we came up with....

He will lose 7 days of tablet time (his idea)
We chose 3 of his favorite toys and he had to pick one to "pack away" for now.
He has to write apology notes to each person that was involved in the episode.
Also has to accomplish the following chores:
Sweep (hardwood with a broom)
Vacuum carpets
Clean bathroom sink
Clean doorknobs and cabinet knobs
Pull weeds
Clean up dog poop

I told him when everything is completed properly, he may go back to camp.  He'll probably only miss one or two days at most, but that's ok.  I think this worked out ok.  I'd love to hear any comments or suggestions about it.

What is Love?

And how many of you, after reading the title, are thinking in your head "Baby, don't hurt me"?  LOL  Sorry, didn't mean to get that song stuck in your head.  I tried coming up with a different title, but that one was just the right one.

The idea for this blog came to me when I was watching a reality tv show.  "Couples Therapy" I think it was.  First time watching it and, honestly, I don't think I recognized any of the "reality stars" on it.  Anyway, one couple in particular was having issues because the man didn't say "I love you" yet, he blamed it on a cultural difference or whatever.  I don't know them, don't know their situation and don't really care, but it made me think.  While those words "I love you" are so very powerful, they are really only words.  My husband (and our families) are very vocal about saying "I love you" and are all pretty affectionate, but I started thinking about what "I love you" means.  If you didn't say those words, how could you show it?  So, I came up with a list.  Feel free to comment any other good ways to say "I love you" as well.

I LOVE YOU means:

Deleting your favorite show on the dvr before you got a chance to watch it because the dvr is full and you know the other person's favorite show is coming up to record soon.

Letting the other person have the last slice of pizza.

Getting up at 3am to let the dog out so the other person doesn't have to.

Doing a "chore" on the other person's chore list.

Saying thank you to that person for doing your chore and not telling them that they did it wrong and you'll have to redo it anyway.  lol

Going out of your way even when you're tired, to get something from a store the other person asks you to get.

Taking care of the other person when they're sick and potentially having to do very gross things to help them.

A foot rub or shoulder rub out of no where (and that isn't meant to lead to things...lol)

Filling up the other person's gas tank.

Making the other person's favorite dinner even when you don't like it.

Respecting and acknowledging the other person's opinions and feelings even if you don't agree with them.

Swallowing your pride when you're wrong and apologizing.

Not holding grudges or constantly bringing up past mistakes.

I'm sure there are a million more ways!  Please comment with any you experience or can think of! <3